This is going to be interesting.
I’ve always been interested in teaming up with someone else to write. I had two opportunities to do this, but one potential co-writer ended up only collaborating on one scene (it was a great scene, but nevertheless…), and the other one went to a diagnostic prison and stopped writing back. Well, fine.
My current characters have hijacked my imagination, and, to be honest, they’re behaving quite silly. Rhodes, sit down before you hurt yourself. Since few of these plotlines are what I intend to become canonical (in the Heather Stokes universe), I am going to put that project on the back burner.
Meanwhile, I am going to embark on short stories, AND, as I promised on my Twitter, at least one of them is going to be based on the horribly pornographic SPAM that we get in our web case queue at work. Now, those of you who know me know that I don’t have an issue with pornographic material. It’s all about the delivery. If a forty-year-old deadbeat were advertizing to fifteen-year-old virgins, this would be the advert. They read like this (copy-and-pasted):
Want to know a fast and easy way to get any woman turned on, attracted to you, and on her knees, begging to suck your d*ck?
This Video Shows You How <———————————-
Just click the link above to watch the video and insantly discover……
-3 Magic Words That Make Women WET
-The Trick To Making YOUNGER Women Fall For You
-The One Place You MUST Touch A Girl (If You Want To Nail Her)
And Much, Much More……
Click Here To Watch Now <———————————-
After you watch this video, your life will never be the same because you will be able to stop settling for whatever women life throws your way and…
FINALLY BANG THE WOMEN YOU WANT
So go ahead right now and click the link below to watch.
The video comes down soon.
We also get some “Hey, macho…” mail-order bride SPAM, which we may also incorporate, but it’s not as common or amusing as the “three key words” messages.
I was in a small meeting yesterday, and a colleague of mine agreed that the SPAM would make for an amusing story. I have little in common with her, except that we both went to Mercer, which is actually a strong binder. She has mentioned before that she likes to make up stories, and she’d like to write more. The stories she told me about were brilliant: She has two pit bulls, and she imagines how they would behave if they were human detectives. Apparently they have more distinct personalities than my min pin, who is a Velcro dog.
Today, I proposed that we write a story together, based on the SPAM emails. I was motivated by one of the names on the email: Francesca Bradberry. Is that not an awesome name? I think we are going to use names exclusively from these emails: Johnathan Bishop, Tristan James, Dick Wainwright, etc.
Right now, we are kicking around how we are going to manage the logistics – most likely Google Docs – and what basic literary devices we are going to use: perspective, tone, plot, etc. Arguably, we can go anywhere with this material, but (steering away from smut) it lends itself very well to comedy and suspense. I suggested a dark comedy.
We will see. I will keep you posted.